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Life Is Hard, but I Keep Going

Hello to anyone who reads this blog. I know I can be very elusive and hard to reach. I often feel concerned that I'm doing absolutely nothing to maintain my pet project of ALE, and this bothers me a lot. I always intend to return now and then and give the project a bit more love, it's just been difficult for me to keep it up with everything that's going on in the world.

I just thought I'd leave some words here so there's some record of what is going on in my life. In a way, nothing much has really happened for me in a year and a half or so with the pandemic. I have felt like a person somewhat frozen in time. The most persistent feeling I've had is just an overwhelming feeling of depression I've hardly been able to shake the entire time. I still feel in many ways that I had a life before that I'm still missing, and I'm not sure when I'm going to feel a bit more "normal" again.

To make matters worse, I have been suffering from COVID for the past two weeks. I had absolutely horrible days where I felt the worst I've ever felt in my entire life, and thankfully I feel like those days might be behind me now, as I slowly try to recover at home. I have been lucky enough to have a "moderate" case, where I never needed oxygen or hospital admission. I'm waiting for a day soon when I can feel 100% again.

I just wanted to write a blog post to let people know two things.

First, I will return to maintaining ALE some day when I am finally feeling well again. It's always on my mind, and I will never completely abandon the project. It it the way I check code and more myself in Vim, so I will always need to make sure it works well enough for at least me. I haven't had the drive to pick through the gigantic pile of notifications I get for it, even to look at simple pull requests. I would like to thank hsanson especially for doing such a great job maintaining the project in my absence, and all of the contributors for the work they do. I am sorry I haven't felt up to merging pull requests, but I will do so from time-to-time, when I feel well enough.

Second, I would like to urge everyone to get a quality COVID vaccine. If you can get the Pfizer mRNA vaccine, please go out and get one. That seems to be the vaccine that offers the best protection. You may have to settle for other vaccines that I don't think are nearly as good, but maybe they will help you. I have suffered from COVID and it has been honestly terrifying to me. If there is anything you can do to boost your immunity, go and do it.

I'm looking forward to recovering slowly and getting back to a point where I feel fully well again. I hope everyone out there can stay safe and healthy. Try and find positive things to enjoy in your life that make you feel good. As a random recommendation, I strongly recommend nice things online like Townsend's YouTube channel or pleasant nature documentaries. We all need an intake of more relaxing and calming things in our life. Avoid horrible things like politics and scary news if you can avoid them.

Stay healthy everyone!

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Comments

Hey man, thanks for creating such a great and useful piece of software. Please take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

I was wondering about you as I recently submitted a patch to your dson library.

Get better.

Hope you feel better. ALE is great -- I use it daily -- but it shouldn't be a crushing burden. Be well. You're not alone in feeling frozen.

I stumbled across your blog more or less by accident; but I hope you're on your way to recovery. Life is indeed hard, and I hope you do keep going.